Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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