forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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