Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
it glows. i had to have it.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
