Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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