No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
