Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
