I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
