I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
