Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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