Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
MIDGETS
????
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
