so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
