For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
