a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
