Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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