I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
