how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
