Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
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I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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