And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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