i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
