ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
