Sponge bath it is.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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