By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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