He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize