Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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