Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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