my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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