i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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