You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I think pants incapable of making pants work
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
