yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
