im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
