I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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