She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize