I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
