Your favorite bartender is back from prision
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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