Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night

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(253): View more from Washington

We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.

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(562): View more from California

I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas

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(989): View more from Michigan

You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD

(732): View more from New Jersey

okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...

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(216): View more from Ohio

we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment

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