Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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