I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize