You just made me feel so damn special
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
