the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
