You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
