Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
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