Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
