did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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