why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
they're like a gay fantastic four
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
