I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
