I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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