but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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