when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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