Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
