I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
