I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
