Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
