Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
