Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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