We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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