I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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