just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
