I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
