Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I love you. Go after that dick
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
