answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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