The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
third nipple confirmed
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
