The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
