I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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